Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
