You can't special order awesome
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
