you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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