Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I think i got beer on your cat.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
