We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
