we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Also, beer. Big fan.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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