i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
