Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
the day after is always just damage control
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
