But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
