I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
