jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
