She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
