So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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