You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
