Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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