"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
