I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
