we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize