so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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