When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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