I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
