so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
