Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Houston, we have a blender
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
