I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
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