Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Small penises have feelings too.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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