its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
