Apparently you make a good broom.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
