Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
