and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize