Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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