So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
