This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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