Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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