Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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