I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
