True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize