Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
