you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
