At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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