I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
