I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Randomize
