I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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