they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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