she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize