don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
