You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
