there's paper in my vomit.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
