I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
The ass gains better be worth it
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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