its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
