OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
