What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
