dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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