Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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