Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize