Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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