Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
