You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize