how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
how does that bad decision feel?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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