Your dad touched me again.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Randomize
