If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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