We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
