I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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