he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
