So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize