i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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